Mediocre Gifts for a Mediocre Christmas

Brianna Pritchett, Messenger Reporter & Business Manager

If you’re like me and have no shame in pulling a few tricks under your sleeve this may be the perfect gift guide for you. These items not being too over-priced and are great for nearly anyone. This holiday season I’m not trying to be in my feels too much, so I’m taking this year to buy more creative gifts for the ones I love or for the ones I don’t. Gag gifts or comedic presents are heart-warming in all the right ways and serve as the best surprise, here are some of my favorite ways to spoil the people in your life this holiday season.


I want to start off this small list by saying that glitter bombs exist and they are perfect for that overly decorative neighbor who seems to always have to one up you like it’s a competition. HAHA, that’s okay Tina. I see all 5 of your Christmas trees and your 10,000 Christmas lights. I’m sure Santa really appreciates you, but me, your next door neighbor, does not… so here I present the glitter bomb. Delivered through the mail it is spring constructed glitter bomb, that when the person of your choice opens it glitter will shoot all over the place and be the best way to decorate your floor. Add some glitter to your Christmas, glitter bombs can be found all over the internet most ranging around $20 dollars.


This next gift is titled “Box of Annoying Sand” but really I consider this a “Box for Your Annoying Aunt”. Now if you have an aunt like mine, then well… she isn’t your favorite. Aunt Jennifer, there is only so much I can take and you’re a nice lady but man you have to stop with the kisses and childish treatment. Now I know you’re upset none of your kids have turned out as great as me, but really I’m leaving for college soon and have had enough of your overwhelming “love”. With this in place,

I present the Box of Annoying Sand. This gift is constructed as a box inside another box and as the receiver pulls open their lovely gift sand will spill all over their floor and surely stay there till next holiday season. This gift makes up for the past 17 years of cheek pinching and brutal kisses, have fun with this one Aunt Jenn. For $20 I’m having the best Christmas of my life.


Then, finally I have found a quite surprising gift which when thought of who I would possibly gift this to my head screamed my brother, so if you have any siblings I’m sure you can relate. I am the middle child, along with that I’m the only girl in my family so growing up with an older brother was enjoyable I guess. Through the many years we lived together he pulled some hilarious pranks, or so he thought, and now is my opportunity to get him back. This gift is called Smelly Poop in a Box. Now with that being said, I cannot confirm if this poop is fake or not but what I can say is that it is the perfect way to get back that sibling for years of harassment. The Smelly Poop in a Box gift is exactly what it sounds like, except if you want to get extra fancy you can add glitter to the poop. On top of that, if just a plain box isn’t doing it for you, they have a Spring Loaded Smelly Poop Bomb. Either way, you’re definitely going to get back that special somebody for the years of pain they cause, Merry Christmas Isaiah! For just $20, I feel I’ve made up for all my underdog years.


This Christmas have fun and go wild, enjoy it while you can. Happy Holidays!