Man Sues After Finding Cage in his Cage Free Egg


Clark English, Social Media Manager

Ballard – What was supposed to be a hearty breakfast turned into a cage match between Francisco Huevo and “Big Dairy”. Mr. Huevo, a pillar of the local community, recognized for his green thumb and love of the land, has been buying cage-free eggs for his entire consumer life. When Mr. Huevo decided to make breakfast one morning, it turned out his plans weren’t all they were cracked up to be. As he cracked his egg on his counter, instead of the usual yolk, a miniature scale replica cage fell out in its’ stead. Mr. Huevo scrambled toward his phone to call his lawyer, Mark Benedict, a practitioner in the study of foul law.

When asked for a quote from a representative of Big Dairy, they said that “These claims are ridiculous, a chicken embryo is simply not capable of forming a solid steel, welded, metal cage. I assure you that the charges are fabricated and we will nail Mr. Huevo to the wall within the full extent of the law. This court battle will not over easy”. It seems safe to assume that the law firm representing Big Dairy has hatched a solid plan.

Are these merely attempts from corporate America to silence the common man, or is this just another hard-boiled plan to make a quick buck. Regardless, someone will be coming out of the courtroom with egg on their face.