The Power of the Chain
March 29, 2018
Ever since I began running, I’ve wondered what separates the great runners from the adequate. Initially, I thought that a runner’s skill was directly related to the amount of effort and practice they put forth, which I’ve determined to be at least partly true. However, in my quest to pinpoint the most prominent determiner of a runner’s skill, I found that one simple accessory plays a very large, if not the largest, role in a runner’s skill level: a chain.
It took me a while to come to this conclusion, but I can proclaim with almost complete certainty that a runner wearing a chain will produce the best results. I once thought, as I’m sure you are currently thinking, that the presence of a chain had no influence on a runner’s performance. After all, it is neither logical nor scientific that a runner should rapidly improve and perform well when wearing a chain. However, in this case, logic simply fails, and the evidence in support of my case is staggering.
The first piece of evidence comes from the 2016 Olympics. In the 100m dash, Usain Bolt, Justin Gatlin, and Andre De-Grasse won the gold, silver, and bronze medals, respectively. Furthermore, all 3 of those winning times were under 10 seconds, which is a feat only a select few have achieved. In the midst of these glorious times, however, everyone neglected to notice one distinguishing feature among the three athletes: all three wore a chain.
In tandem with the Olympics, two local athletes have recently boasted improvements at least partly because of their chains. Two McCracken County High School runners achieved new personal records at a recent meet with impressive times, but I found it interesting that both of these runners wore chains when they achieved their new records. Moreover, one of these athletes was wearing his chain for the first time during his race, and he managed to further improve his already admirable time (most likely from the strength he gained from his chain).
From this evidence, I have concluded that a chain is the distinguishing feature that separates elite and adequate runners. With my claim being attested by such conclusive evidence, I can safely and solemnly testify to the power of the chain.