I am sure most, if not every, young girl has had thoughts about her body. They think that their body isn’t right for them or they have had people say things about them that have made them think negatively about themselves. This includes me. I have thought about myself in ways I am not proud of. I used to think that my body was more muscle than anything else when I was younger, but, as I got older, I realized it wasn’t. I played softball for most of my life. I thought softball made me have more muscles and that was what I was looking at. My experience with it wasn’t about that.

     I know many girls who have thought like I have because they have grown up thinking they had more muscle and that’s why they have started thinking the way I did. I am trying to get out of my mindset about my body and I think everyone else should, too.

Social Media & Others

     From my experience and what I have seen from people around me, most of the self-inflicted body shaming, or whatever you want to call it, toward younger girls started when they were at least 12 or 13, which is usually when they can understand what it is and apply it to their lives. Most of the time it comes from social media and what younger girls are seeing from other girls who are models or work out but don’t show it so they don’t know how they keep their shape. One specific problem is that editing apps can be used to catfish people from what they look like to make them appeal to be socially attractive so they can feel good about themselves when in reality they don’t look like that.

     There are cases where it is family members who say it to them, too. I have heard from friends that have said there have been their own family members who have said they need to eat less, workout more, or if they are skinnier they will tell them to eat a lot and workout less. What they don’t understand, or maybe they do, is that it will cause them to develop eating disorders, and if they understand that they need some sort of help because no one should have to go through it just to please others.

“Perfect” Relationships

     Another reason younger girls think negatively about themselves is that they see guys dating girls who have the “perfect” body type, which there isn’t one, DON’T FORGET THAT. They think that in order to be able to have guys date them they need to be skinny and act a certain way that is completely different than how they actually are. Everything that has been said so far can go for both men and women, it is just more common for women. This isn’t all guys either, just most of the time it is what we see.

     There are some guys out there who treat you like the queen you are and like you for you and not only because of your looks. I have had these boundaries set for myself for a while and it’s what I tell my friends when they ask why I’m not talking to anyone or seem interested in dating. I say that if a guy doesn’t come to me, then I won’t come to them because there is no point in embarrassing yourself in front of a guy if he doesn’t know who you are or doesn’t feel the same.

     Obviously, you want someone who you find attractive and who finds you attractive, but what you don’t want is someone to date you just because of your body. Make sure that person likes you for who you are and that you know your worth so you can put that into perspective.

Caring About Others’ Opinions

     Public decency is probably the best thing to call this. Going out in public wearing something you feel comfortable, confident, and cute in, then someone has to say something that they don’t like about it. You look around and see some other people wearing something similar but maybe not the same color and wonder why they can wear it and you “can’t.” Well, first of all, they’re jealous they can’t look as good as you.

     Secondly, they see that you are confident and feel good about yourself and want you to feel bad. Either way, it doesn’t matter what they say they are wrong and you need to keep walking and strut your way through the store you’re in. If they have a problem with what you are wearing, it’s a THEM problem NOT a you problem. If you feel comfortable in leggings and a T-shirt, wear it. If you feel comfortable in a fitted dress because it’s a special occasion for you or you got out of church, wear it. It doesn’t matter what other people think about you, it only matters what YOU think about YOU.

Catcalling

     Catcalling is one of the worst things you can do. You may think it is something good but it is nowhere near good. When someone catcalls you, they are doing it because they like your body. They may know you, but most of the time they don’t. They see someone they are physically attracted to and say something about it thinking you will react the same way. There are some girls who think catcalling is compliments towards them from regular people who think they are good-looking. They could be, but most of the time, the catcallers do it either to get you mad or to see if you will go with them.

     The girls who think catcalling is complimenting them need to be taught the correct way to be complimented and treated the right way. They need to know that they are more than just their body and they just worry about themselves and school until they feel comfortable dating someone.

Shopping

     I personally believe all stores need to have all sizes from XS to plus size. Most stores don’t and I don’t understand why. Some of my favorite stores don’t have my size and I stop shopping there because of it. Stores such as Buckle 8, JCPenney, Dillard’s, Old Navy, Hollister, American Eagle, and Rue 21 either don’t have plus-size clothing or it isn’t accurate labeling. They may have plus size clothing, but like Rue 21, there is only a small space for it so there isn’t as much to choose from like there is in the “regular” sized sections.

     Stores are getting upset because they are losing business or not getting as much money as they would want but the problem is they don’t sell all the sized clothing that would get their business going again.

Music

     We all have bad days. Sometimes we think no matter what we put on it doesn’t look cute so we give up and just put something on and go on with the day. Personally, I use music to help me with my bad days. I have a playlist with songs that make me feel confident in myself and help me feel better.

     Songs such as “Victoria’s Secret” by Jax, “All About That Bass” and “Me Too” by Meghan Trainor are just a few that I have on my playlist that helps with my bad days. They give me confidence and help me remember that my body image is good and I shouldn’t care what people think about me.

     There are other songs that help with confidence in general like “Unstoppable” by Sia, “Stronger” by Kelly Clarkson, “This is Me” by Keala Settle, “NO”, “Lips Are Movin”, and “I’m a Lady” by Meghan Trainor. I encourage people to listen to these songs when they are having a bad day and need a little confidence boost.

Remember…

     There is no such thing as a “perfect” body type. No one should tell you that you need to be a certain way for people to like you. People who say things to you about what you look like are jealous and want to be like you because they see how confident you are. There is nothing wrong with being plus-size or skinny. Your body matters no matter what and no one should tell you differently.