Since the start of school, strange holes have been appearing in the pillars surrounding the cafeteria. Some, are even rumored to have been in the library pillars. Who could be doing this? Why has this not been addressed? What do we, the student body, think about this? Let’s investigate the mysterious holes. 

As of now, there are two gaping holes in the pillars directly in the cafeteria one on the glass wall side and the other by the high tables, and outside the cafeteria is a patched hole on one of the pillars. Talking to an anonymous source revealed that there was one in the library that they were stuffing their trash in. However, much to my knowledge that specific one has been patched much like the one outside the cafeteria. 

Many of the students when asked about this had some crazy theories revolving around the mysteriously appearing holes. All students wished to remain anonymous as some revealed some information that could cause some issues for them. There were many silly theories such as one by this unnamed student

“Elevators, they hold secret elevators,”

which in the grand scheme is entertaining and most definitely a theory, but very improbable due to the amount of trash that is usually stuffed in them. Others had speculations of students with anger issues cracking a hole in the wall. Given the environment schools have, and the usual care such students are handled with it seems less than likely that such a student would even have had the chance to get anything to puncture the pillars, but unlikely does not mean that couldn’t be what happened. Now our leading theory,

“It’s the tuba players.”

When asked about why this student is so suspicious of the tuba players they proceeded to tell us

“They have admitted to it.”

The phrasing of “admitted to it” makes this seem very, very probable that the tuba players are the ones to blame.

“Winter Johnson did it,”

was another student’s direct reply when asked. Both theories point to the band kids being the main culprits for the suddenly materialized holes. Now, this is all theory so let’s not jump too far to conclusions, as apparently, it’s so easy to make holes in the pillars that a student tripping and falling head first into one, put a hole in it.

These suspicious holes have raised many concerns for the students regarding the structural integrity of the school. I mean, if the support pillars for the school can be damaged so easily what’s to stop the whole school from crumbling down around us? Many students’ replies were along a similar vein as “Why are they so easy to damage?”, “Why are they so fragile to where they crack so easily?”, and most importantly “What is the school going to do about this?”

While I can’t say what the school’s actions are I can only hope they are getting to the bottom of this mystery. Especially, since they care so much about our safety as students. A suspicious tale of appearing holes most likely filled with garbage the McCracken County pillar holes. Hopefully, this problem gets resolved, or who knows what could happen.